It Seems Like My Feeling of Hurt Will Last Forever

Q: I’m feeling low right now because the person that I like is with one of my friends. It’s hard to watch them having a good time. What can I do to get over this hurt?

Answer:

Let me share a time when I felt hurt in grade 9. The bell had rung and the hall crowded with people trying to get to their lockers. I was standing in an area of the hall that most of my friends occupied during our school breaks. We were all chatting when I spotted the boy that I thought was not only cute, but that I could picture myself being with.

He stood across the hall talking with another group of people who were also my friends. I can remember watching him out of the corner of my eye, day dreaming about the fun we would have together. My dream came crashing to a sudden halt when I overheard him asking one of my other friends ‘out’.

My friend said ‘Yes’ and I felt my heart sink.

’What?’ I thought. ‘This is not how I expected this to go. Can this really be happening?’ I watched them talking and laughing as they walked away together.

I was so upset, wondering how I was going to carry on, not not only with my day but the rest of my life. At that moment, it seemed as though the hurt and upset would last forever.

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We have all have felt the pain of having something happen that we did not expect or want. It is definitely not a good feeling to have your expectations crushed.

Emotions can be uncomfortable but they are natural and normal. Allow yourself to feel the hurt and upset that you are experiencing. Only in this way can you truly embrace your emotions and start to move through them. 

Here are a few ways that have helped me to release and move through the pain of my emotions.

  • Crying, screaming into a pillow.
  • Writing, thoughts and feelings in a journal.
  • Sharing with a trusted friend or family member.

After you have allowed yourself to feel your emotions, choose to start focusing on the great things about you and your life. Sometimes it’s easier to focus on all the negative things that happen to us, but choosing to change that focus to what you are grateful for, will allow you to have a positive perspective and to feel happiness once again.

Try This!

  • Make a list of 5 aspects of your life that you are Grateful for.
  • Place the list you have created beside your mirror or in a place where you will see it many times throughout the day.
  • Every time you see your list read it aloud. Hearing your own voice saying what you are grateful for helps to reinforce it.

Everyone, at some point in their life, experiences disappointment, loss and hurt but it is how we choose to move through it and what we choose to learn from it that determines who we become and how our life looks. One day you will look back and realize that this low time you are experiencing, although challenging, is a Chapter of Your Life, not Your Whole Story!

Allow this experience to let you see that there is life after hurt and pain. Keep focusing on the wonderful parts of your life and create more of that!

And one day, maybe when you least expect it, you will meet someone that is perfect for you!

Until next time…

SaraSig

 



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