18 Apr Judging and Comparing to Other Starts A War Within Yourself
Q: You’re super lucky to be skinny. Everyone always calls me fat.
A: I wasn’t always the size I am now. I was bigger when I was younger.
When I was growing up, some people would make remarks about the way I looked and my body size. I felt as though the hurt and sadness would last forever. The sadness came from believing the negative opinions, which then led to me criticizing myself. That started a war between me and my body.
I used to compare myself to one of my best friends who had long thin legs. I thought that she had perfect legs and since mine were shorter and bigger, that meant that mine were not beautiful.
Another person I used to compare my body to, was my older sister. She was smaller than me and I used to constantly wish I had her body. I thought that if I did, my life would be better.
Comparing myself to them was silly. It wasn’t going to change anything. It wasn’t going to make my legs longer and thinner or my body skinnier. Plus, my friend, my sister and I had totally different body types and bone structures.
It’s OK to admire someone to inspire you to get in shape and eat healthier. The problems occurs when you look at other people and decide you would rather be them and, in turn, we give up on ourselves and our uniqueness.
One day, instead of all this, ‘judging and comparing’ myself to others and ‘wanting to be someone else stuff’, I decided to ‘choose me’!
‘Choosing me’ meant that I decided to make my body and myself the best that it could be for me without comparing it to anyone else. I was tired of rejecting my body. I was tired of being at war with myself. All it was doing was causing me to feel upset and unhappy.
Here are 4 activities that continue to help me:
- Journaling – Helps clear your mind and heart. There is something very freeing about writing out your thoughts and emotions on paper.
- UPower Notes – Write uplifting, encouraging, supportive thoughts or words. Two of my favorites are: “I choose to love and respect myself” and the word “freedom”. Place them everywhere that you will see them.
- Being Grateful to My Body – I took the parts of my body that I resented and wrote down all the reasons why I should be grateful. For example: my legs allow me to run and walk, paint my toenails and wear my favourite boots. Doing this writing exercise helps you appreciate and be thankful for your body.
- Eating Healthy & Exercising – Once I started being grateful to my body I realized I needed to take care of it, so that it could do everything that I wanted and needed it to do every day. Each day I would eat healthy foods – fresh fruits, veggies (lots of salads), etc. and no junk food. I began to go walking. I even started going to the gym, so that I could learn how to use weight training to shape my body. When I started taking care of myself, I started enjoying the journey back to loving me.
I can now see that criticizing ourselves and believing the criticism of others, only leads to unhappiness. In the end, the only opinion that matters is the one that you choose to believe about yourself!
I know it’s easier said than done, but learning to respect yourself and your body is so important to true happiness! It isn’t about being skinny – everyone has a different body shape and size – it’s about being healthy and happy!
Until next time…