OTHER PEOPLE’S CHOICES ARE NOT IN OUR CONTROL

OTHER PEOPLE’S CHOICES ARE NOT IN OUR CONTROL

It is very upsetting and frustrating when someone makes a choice that we don’t agree with. My Dad made choices that I didn’t like or agree with. He made a decision to leave without saying goodbye and without talking to me about why he was leaving.

Unfortunately, I allowed the pain I felt from his choice, to eat away at me and my happiness. I began thinking that his leaving meant that I was unlovable and unacceptable as a person. I thought if he really cared about me he wouldn’t have made the choice to leave without communicating what was going on.

After awhile I began to realize that neither my Dad’s choices nor the choices of others were in my control. I started to realize that I was a great person, that there was nothing wrong with me. We can’t make anyone do or be how we think that they SHOULD be. As much as we may see their ‘potential’ – if they don’t see it – then that potential becomes wasted.

A few years after my Dad had moved out, I had the opportunity to ask him why he left without saying anything. He said, ‘I thought it would be easier on you.’ 

I didn’t agree that it was easier on me, but since I wasn’t the one that was in control of his choice(s), all I could do was accept his decision and learn from it.

Sometimes we learn from people how we want to be and sometimes we learn how we don’t want to be. From my Dad I learned how much pain not communicating thoughts and feelings causes. From this pain I chose to learn to communicate openly with people.



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