True Friends Think You are Cool Just the Way You Are

I am going through a really tough time in my life right now. I skipped a few grades and so life was hard moving in with older kids. I thought I had made a few close girlfriends, that is until they began trying to force me into situations with boys or drinking, or partying. I did stand up for myself and told them I wasn’t comfortable with the things they do. Now they are pressuring me even more to be cool like they say they are.

Answer:

First I want to say ‘way to go!’ It’s hard at times to stand up for yourself, especially when you are trying to make new friends and want to fit in and be accepted. It takes strength and courage to believe in yourself and to stay true to who you are.

Setting up boundaries of what you will and won’t do is very important. Take a stand for yourself by creating healthy boundaries and by choosing not to allow peer pressure to steer you from making choices that are right for you!

Going to parties was not my thing either.  In high school, I had the strictest mom out of all of my friends. Before allowing me to go to a party my mom would phone my friend’s parents to make sure there would be no drinking and that they would be home. Instead of focusing on how embarrassing this was, I chose to focus on my dream of singing as a career. When all of my friends were at a party on the weekend, I was performing or practicing.

Yes, I missed out on many parties, but looking back I wouldn’t change it. Not only did my mom’s strict rules help push me to focus on my passion in life, but it also helped show me who my true friends were. My friends wanted me to go to the parties with them, but they accepted that I wouldn’t be going and didn’t make a big deal about it or pressure me.

We may not always have control over the circumstance (what happens to us/what others think of us) but we always have control over our reaction to it and perception of it.

We may not always have control over what happens to us, but we can control how we react.

For example: If someone says to you ‘you aren’t cool because you don’t drink!’ Although you don’t have control over what they said – you do have control over how you choose to react and perceive what they have said.

Here are some examples of how you could choose to perceive that comment:

Choice A:

  • I guess I am not good enough.
  • If I don’t do what they want, they won’t like me and no one will.

Choice B:

  • They are not true friends. I’m glad I found out now.
  • I feel bad that all of their fun revolves around partying and drinking.

Choosing Choice A will only leave you feeling upset and powerless. It will eat away at your self-worth.

Choosing Choice B will allow you to believe in yourself and to push yourself forward to find caring, supportive, respectful friends.

There is a saying that states ‘ You become like the people you hang around!’ so choosing your friends wisely is very important. True friends will accept you and think you are cool just the way you are!

Until next time…

Sara Signature



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